Miss No-Good-at-Everything

Have you ever felt being so stupid? You think you can't do anything right and you always mess up things. The moment you try something ends failing. You feel like you're not worth it to live in this planet. Sometimes you ask yourself what's your purpose in this world when you can do anything right. You're jealous to others who can sing, dance, paint and write. If you don't feel all these, I have to congratulate you. But if you do, I think we need to talk.

Sixteen years. Sixteen years of living in this crazy world. For those sixteen years, believe it or not, I still don't know where am I good at. A lot of teenagers like me already knew their talents. They already knew what to do for their future. I envy those people. No matter how much I try to excel at something, I always end up losing.

I tried singing and dancing. I joined choirs in school. I sang everyday during my vacant hours. I thought I was a good singer. But when they rejected me in the choir and when my friends laugh every time I sing, I realized I'm just a trying hard singer. I tried my luck in dancing. I even joined cheerdance team in my school. But as always, I ended up being laugh at and insulted by the instructor. It hurts actually, but I needed to accept it.

I never stopped. I tried painting and acting. I joined painting contest. As expected, I lose. I tried to audition in a theater. They told me to wait for their call. My eyes went all white of waiting, but I never receive any call from them. I guess it's not really my field.

I'm not good in school neither. I belong to the achievers during high school, but I believe I'm not smart. I'm not a good sister. I'm not a good daughter. I always give my parents headaches. I don't do house hold chores and I always ask for money.

The only thing that I think I'm good at is writing. I used to win during writing contest and my friends said that my articles are really good. But when I enter college and saw a lot of good writers, I pity myself. How can they write such an amazing write ups? Mine are just dots compare to their articles.

Until this very moment, as I am writing this essay, I still don't know where am I good at. In the first place, I don't know if I can do good things. Even in my course right now, I don't know if I will excel on this field. Well, I guess I need to accept that I'm Miss No-Good-at-Everything.